In all human relationships, conflict is sure to come. And in this conflict, we all tend to blame a person or group for the issue. Someone has to be the bad guy. We tear down a person or persons by pointing out their sin in the situation. This charges us with emotion. Not only do we blame a person or a group for something but we then triangulate. We form a human triangle. We get someone to agree with us that the third point of the triangle is at fault. They're the bad guy. This causes unholy alliances and disrupts our unity. Our finger pointing is as old as the garden of Eden. When the Lord questioned Adam, he blamed the woman. In fact, he blamed the woman that God put in the garden with him. It is like he blamed not only Eve but God also. Our finger pointing is often a cover up for an idol that we are nourishing. Rather than admit our contribution to the conflict, we avoid it by pointing elsewhere and distracting ourselves and others from the issues. Paul tells us the real nature of the struggle and this is a crucial point to understand. Our conflict is not against flesh and blood. Spiritual warfare is not about the struggle of man against man. It is not a struggle between human beings. It is a struggle against the devil and his minions. The devil is an instigator. He masquerades and hides in the shadows. He deceives. He stirs up ill will. He incites your emotions. We should not be his puppets. Think back of a church conflict you went through in the past, and you will often be left wondering why things got so out of hand.
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David Bodanza is the pastor of Mission of Grace Church in Westborough, Massachusetts. He is also a practicing lawyer. He holds an M.Div. degree from Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary and a J.D. from New England School of Law. He lives in Massachusetts with his wife, four...
