To My Wife on our 15^th Anniversary

What can I say? 15 years feels like a lifetime. Yet, it’s also true that we have a lifetime to go. There are so many things to list out and be thankful for in our life together that one letter could never cover all the ground. So, I’ll try to be both honest and brief here.

1) I’m thankful for my salvation. This may sound strange to some people in an anniversary manifesto, but you know that I have often referred to you as my “angel.” 17 years ago, I knew that if I were going to win over a girl like you, I had some cleaning up to do in my own life. It’s funny. I thought I was getting my junk together to woo a girl, but all the while, it was our common Savior, wooing and drawing me first to himself. How wonderful was your testimony to a great Savior like this! He saved me, he used your witness as the catalyst for the work he was doing in me. And then, in proof of his providence and sovereignty, it turns out that part of his work was to make me the kind of husband and father that he calls me to be. I owe all of my salvation to Christ, and Christ alone. But how sweet it is to know that he used my future bride in the process of my conversion.

2) I’m thankful for our wedding. What a wonderful memory to have. The memory of our church that we loved and still love, the many friends and family who are still around to this day. A memory that our children can visit in scrapbooks and albums, realizing the family that they have and the legacy that came before them. For them to look back on those pictures and see familiar faces from before they were born. Our own wedding has been a cherished memory for every wedding ceremony I have performed as a pastor. I love the meaning, the picture that it gives of Christ and the church. And I love to be reminded of that when I think about our special day.

3) I’m thankful for our life together. A song I recently came across mentions the joke that marriage means the end of the “fun life.” But even Jesus said that to give ourselves for another is the greatest act of love. Yes, I am married now. Yes, I have children. Yes, most of my off time and vacation time centers around family functions. I wouldn’t trade it for any amount of “freedom” that single life may offer. Singleness has its own myriad of blessings. Scripture makes this clear. But so too does marriage. And in my estimation, the life that we have built together has returned a hundred-fold what my life would have been like without you.

4) I’m thankful for our friendship. To see a marriage that blossomed from a courtship that grew from the seed of friendship has been a particularly sweet reality. We are man and woman, groom and bride, husband and wife. Yet most fundamentally we are friends. Joined together by choice and staying together by that same choice. We have laughed and cried, celebrated and mourned, rejoiced and wept. Through it all, our bond has remained strong.

5) I’m thankful for our bond. To know that someone knows me as intimately as you do is cause to shudder. You know all my strengths, but with that you know that those strengths far too often are outweighed by my weaknesses. Yet you have remained, loving me and reminding me who I am in Christ is far greater. You have willingly and joyfully followed my lead even when you may have wanted to go a different direction. You have always been there, gently correcting or pushing back when necessary. In the end, you trust me. An amazing thought when I consider my many shortcomings.

6) I’m thankful for our union. When we married, I knew of the biblical teaching of the “two will become one flesh” union and the covenant language involved with marriage. But the difference now is that I have actually experienced what this means in 15 years of marriage with you. At this point, we are truly one. There is simply “us.” Our lives are so intertwined that I can’t imagine what mine would look like without you in it. There is not the smallest part of me that exists outside of what it means to be in union with you. Even to the extended families. Your family has become mine, even as mine has become yours. Everything that we say and do revolves around each other. That’s the point of the promise that we made. This is the way that God intended the marriage union to work. You have taught me what it means to lose yourself in a life built with another.

So much more could be said. They say that time flies when you are having fun. Perhaps that explains how I have blinked and find myself 15 years down the road. You have made this journey so much more than I could have ever dreamed possible, and you have given me so much more than I have ever deserved.