Well..because becoming a Christian is THE most important, most life-altering, life-fulfilling, life-guiding experience he will ever have! It is therefore incumbent upon me as his father, his primary spiritual caretaker, to make sure (as best I can) that what he calls his conversion is in fact his conversion. That it is not simply some kind of shade or likeness to the real thing that in the end will prove unlike the real thing!

I knew, from personal experience, that being able to give the right answers is NOT conversion. Being led in a prayer, being baptized, and joining the church is NOT conversion. Going through the motions merely to escape hell and not worry about my sin is NOT conversion. I knew these things from own experience and reading the Scripture. I didn’t want my son walking down a false conversion path and hopefully making a turn to true conversion later in life. If I, as his father, was going to celebrate with him of his new life in Christ, he needed to base it on more than the above.

I also knew he and I had a couple of things to work through. First, I needed to make sure he had gotten past memorizing the answers to questions like “What is repentance?” and that he was striving to practice repentance and knew he personally had need of it. Second, I needed to know he was not asking to be a Christian simply because his older sister was a Christian. Third, I needed to know he had more reasons than just wanting to be able to take the Lord’s Supper. Fourth, I needed to know he wanted this in his life because he wanted this in his life, not because he knew mom and dad wanted this for him.

So each time he would say, “Daddy, I want to be a Christian,” as my heart was breaking for him - I would say, “Well, let’s go back over a few things.” We would talk about faith, repentance, sin, and Christ. One of the things I stressed to him over and over was that believing in Christ means following Him and loving Him for the rest of your life. I would say, “Do you understand that buddy?” He would say, “Yes.” Then I would say, “Well when you are ready to do that, when you are ready to love Christ more than anything, let me know.”

Some questions he raised during this season were “Daddy, how will I know if I am a Christian, if I have been saved? What does it feel like to be born again?” Thank God I didn’t reply, “Well son if you really meant it when you ask Jesus into your heart, you are saved.” The Lord helped me say this instead: “Son, when you know that you believe in Jesus, that you need Him to save you from your sin, and you really love Him for being your Savior - when you believe Him and love Him, then you’ll know that you are a Christian - that you have been born again.”

(I wish I would have also said - “and it feels really great to be born again!”)

So while Haddon was wrestling through these questions and scriptures at night, I was begging God to help me have discernment - to know when Haddon is ready to profess Christ as his Savior - to know how to answer his questions - to know when to stop rehearsing with him and when to start celebrating with him. I wanted more than anything to get this one right!

As always - God provided much grace in my weakness and He also gave me a wonderful insight one day - in all places - right in the middle of corporate worship!!!!

We were receiving the Lord’s Supper. I used this time as a time of teaching for Haddon. He knew that he couldn’t take the bread and juice because he was not yet a Christian. He also knew that one day he would because one day he would become a believer. So I would talk to him about what the Supper means - how we were sinners - how Christ paid for our sins - how the bread and wine represent his death - and how when we take it we are saying we love Him and trust in Him to be our Savior. But oh how he wanted so badly to take it too - mostly at that time because sister takes it.

(BTW - I would have him participate by holding my bread and juice cup for me until it was time to partake. This way he didn’t feel totally left out but yet he still didn’t take the Supper as an unbeliever.)

As he was holding my wafer, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he broke off a little piece of wafer and put it in his pocket. I knew exactly what he was doing! He wanted to know how those pieces of wafer taste. I told him to give it to me and he reluctantly did so with a smile (he knew he had been caught!). He said, “I just wanted to know what it taste like.” He knew he wasn’t in trouble and I shared with him again about why it is so important for him to wait until he was a believer. He understood and we both went about the rest of our day.

Then the Lord answered a big prayer in my life. I won’t say the Lord spoke directly to me, but I do know this didn’t come from me - I’m not that smart. So I will rather say the Lord impressed this upon me or allowed me to have this insight. Whatever it was, this thought came to my mind: when Haddon wants Christ as much as he wanted that wafer, enough to break off a small bit and hide it in his pocket - when he wants Christ like he wanted that wafer, which represents Christ - then you’ll know, Wil! Then you’ll know that he has been born again and is ready to profess his faith in Christ. Then you’ll know you can affirm him and celebrate with him that he is now a believer. Then you can allow him to take the Lord’s Supper as a believer. Kind of like the ill woman in the Bible who just wanted to touch Jesus’ garment, knowing then she would be healed!

A few months later….it happened! I knew when he approached me with such seriousness about his sin and need of Christ and such tenderness to Scripture - I knew. I knew he wanted Christ just like he wanted that wafer!

That’s why as parents we must be patient and keep teaching, keep living, and keep praying the Gospel. We must not rush our children’s conversion. We must not affirm an unrealized profession. Conversion is not getting the answers right. Conversion is not wanting to be something because my family is that something. Conversion is wanting Christ because we know we need Him and we love Him!

Wait parents. Patiently wait until you see the Lord working in the heart and life of the child, and then celebrate and affirm and rejoice!!! Then, go all out! Then, go big!!! But until you see the hand of God at work - wait and pray.

I hope to follow this post with:

* Parents, Be Patient with Your Child’s Baptism

* How I celebrate the spiritual birthdays of my children

*What will I do if my children turn from their profession later in life? What will that mean in light of all the above?