That is why I write this post today. I hold a dear treasure so full of joy that I must share it with you. One year ago today, my son became my brother!

My son, who will always be my son in this life, became my brother, and will always be my brother - in this life and in the life to come!

One year ago today, Haddon repented of his sin and by faith trusted in Jesus Christ as his Savior and Lord. It didn’t happen out of the blue. A lot of preparation, teaching, patience, and prayer was invested in Haddon’s life before he reached this pivotal moment that will guide him forever.

Preparation and teaching: I am very thankful for family and church leaders who reinforced the Gospel teaching Haddon was receiving at home by living and teaching those same Gospel truths. As his parents though, Summer and I were to take the lead on his spiritual instruction, and even though we fall so very short of what could be done, thanks be to God He has helped us maintain some good teaching opportunities.

* family devotions - we catechize, sing, read and discuss the Bible, and pray together as a family at least twice each week. These various worship elements have provided ample opportunity to discuss the Gospel and make everyday applications.

* children’s catechism - this has been an extremely valuable teaching tool because it allows me to teach on every crucial doctrine of Scripture while the children are memorizing the answers.

* family prayer - my son heard me pray specifically many times that Christ would help him understand faith and repentance and that he would soon become a Christian.

* nighttime prayer - it has been my practice to pray with my kids every night. On a few occasions they have asked some really good questions either before or after this prayer time. They know it’s a good time to ask Daddy important questions.

* daily example - Oh boy - I wish I could say we’ve aced this one. I think I’ve failed more than succeeded here but thanks be to God, He gives grace to help us live out what we say we believe. Children observe and never forget how our faith influences our decisions, the way we treat others, and they way we live life.

* teachable moments - I’ve tried to keep an eye out for these - everyday circumstances that lend themselves to great Gospel applications and lessons. When children act wrongly, we shouldn’t just correct, but we should point them to the Gospel. When children act rightly, we shouldn’t just praise, we should also point them to the Gospel and grace.

* corporate worship - this is very important and often overlooked by parents. Corporate worship is extremely important during the formative years of a child’s life - not because they understand everything the preacher says - but because they observe! They watch us sing to Christ. They watch us listen to His words in the Bible. They see our joy. They know it’s important to us because we do it every week and we expect them to behave during it. They receive instruction on their level during sunday school. They only time they receive corporate worship observation is during corporate worship. That’s why Summer and I have our children with us for the entire worship service right after nursery age. Parents, don’t underestimate the value of having your children observe you worshipping with the saints - even if there’s a lot of wiggling!!

Patience: This one was really, really hard!! It is the hardest one for Christian parents but one that we must, must practice. Haddon told me numerous times before January 15, 2013 that he wanted to be a Christian. The easiest thing for me would have been to say, “That’s great son! Pray this prayer and you’ll go to heaven when you die.” I didn’t though. It was hard not to. But a profession of faith from my son is not foremost about me feeling good; it’s about his eternal destination and I knew he was not ready.

We have to be very, very careful, prayerful, and scripturally wise here as parents. We have to strike a balance between assuring a false, rubber-stamped-answer profession and praising a young, child-like, child-expressed profession. My son did not need to know everything about Christianity to become a believer, but he did need to know some things like he is a sinner, Christ is the Savior (and why), what is repentance, what is faith, what does it mean to trust in Christ, and why trust also means living for Christ and loving Christ. Every time my son would tell me he wanted to be a Christian, I would go over these questions with him making sure that he definitely understood what we were taking about.

Not only was it vital for him to understand, it was also vital that he understood the gravity of faith and repentance. As his father, I had to know that he wanted Christ for himself, not because his older sister was a Christian, not because he knew his parents wanted him to be a Christian, not because he could take the Lord’s Supper if he were a Christian - I had to know he wanted Christ!

How do we as parents perceive a child’s sincere desire for Christ? I suggest a few things. 1. Does the child display remorse over sin? 2. Does the child make the connection between his actual sin, Christ’s death for sin, and his need for Christ? 3. Does the child express a desire to please Christ and not sin? Those are indicators of true faith, albeit in the form of childlike faith expressed in very simple ways and in very simple terms, but faith nonetheless.

Prayer: As mentioned above, my son heard me pray for him and I prayed with my son at night. Beyond this though, I prayed, prayed, prayed, prayed for God to save my son. I prayed for God to give him understanding, repentance, and faith. I prayed for God to give me wisdom so that I would not celebrate too soon or too late! I prayed for God to help me explain gospel truths on his level. I prayed for God to help me discipline in a loving manner that reinforced the Gospel. I prayed.

All of these culminated one year ago today.

I was lying on the couch one evening watching…I don’t know what. The kids were already in their rooms getting ready for bed. Haddon came walking out of his room, straight to me, and said, “Daddy I’m ready.” I knew what he meant. Each time I would explain to him what it means to give one’s life to Christ, I would say, “Son, when you’re ready to do that, let me know.” We went to his room and walked through some scriptures together that addressed sin, repentance, and faith. As we were going over these scriptures again, I noticed he was not only able to answer, but there was a noticeable tenderness and seriousness in his voice. He wasn’t just answering the questions with the right answers. He was answering the questions with the right answers because he believed what he was saying. We prayed together. And then our family celebrated! Immediately he wanted to tell the rest of his family. He was happy and he wanted people to know.

One year ago today, my son became my brother…and I will never, ever forget it!

One lesson I hope will help parents. What we as parents must guard against is asking our children simple yes and no questions so that they simply repeat what they know they should say. Ask them open-ended questions that require them to explain and express. Not only will this help you see if they need further instruction, it will also help you see their heart. Are they simply giving answers to the questions or are they placing themselves within the answers as one needing forgiveness, one trusting in Christ, one sorrowful for his/her sin?

I hope to follow up this post with a couple more:

*A special help from God to determine my son’s readiness and sincerity

*How I celebrate spiritual birthdays with my children

*What do to if my son walks away from his profession later in life?