I had the privilege of attending a baptismal service at my home church on Sunday. When I hear from the mouths of those baptised, how the Lord has dealt with them and transformed their lives, I feel such an urge to shout praise to God! I would like to post (in 2 parts) the testimony of one of the ladies who was baptised; Vasti Taljaard, with her permission.
When first putting pen to paper in the writing of my testimony I thought "Ah man, this is boring, it's nothing special". But as I wrote and started reflecting on what God has done in my life, how He has saved and is continually transforming me to be more like Jesus Christ, I realized that this is no less than a "miracle of mercy".
Ever since I could remember I had an awareness of God. Whether I truly believed this or if it was only hereditary, I don't know. But I do know that I prayed to Him whenever I needed something. Learning "normal" Sunday school lessons about Noah, Samson and Jesus. Not fully comprehending the Jesus part though.
I was still very young when our family started attending a church that was very end-time focused and to a certain extent had very legalistic views, I believed that my salvation to a degree depended on me. I was deeply afraid of the end-times to come and I quickly sought forgiveness for my sins every night before going to bed, just in case the rapture would happen that night. So, somehow I believed that I could somehow save myself by what I do, or by saying the right things.
During my high school years I always considered myself a "Christian". Even though I found myself hanging out with the wrong friends and most of all being the wrong friend for others. I was a hypocrite. Yet, compared to most of my peers I was super-moral in my own eyes, a cut above the rest. Nothing could be further form the truth.
During my varsity years I had what people often call "freedom" . I was in a process of "finding myself". Attending different Christian churches, going to outreaches to, supposedly, share the gospel, praying "sinners prayers", standing up in churches, kneeling down in front of pulpits with hands on my shoulders praying out loud, writing things from my past on paper and throwing it into a fire at camps, all this meant nothing because I never understood, I had a "what can you do for me, my Lord" approach to the throne of grace. During that time, as a student, I went out partying a lot, finding a temporary "joy" that only lasted as long as the effect of the tequilas only to find that it only brought regret. A regret originating from selfish pursuit, what would people think of me? Yet I was able to convince myself that I was O.K with God. And when it was absolutely necessary I could grab myself by the collar and be saved. Broken relationships accentuated a void inside and I desperately tried to fill it, once again "turning to God" when I needed comfort. I read some books, trying to tell me how "captivating" I am instead of telling me that I am in fact a "captive" of my own sinful nature and that I stand under God's judgment. I prayed with many people, people who told me that speaking in tongues was the answer, or people rebuking spirits from my past I didn't even understand. All this never coming to realize that I was a sinner and I needed Jesus Christ.
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