There are many things that your Pastor probably would not tell you. He feels obligated to do everything to make sure the Church runs smoothly and will take on responsibilities without complaining (to you) but it takes a toll on him and his family, and it burns him out and uses him up. So, while you may think your Pastor is Superman, rest assured he is NOT. Let me give you 16 things (8 for members and 8 for deacons) that will greatly benefit you, your church, and your Pastor.
Members
1. Do not allow your pastor to fill all available positions - In other words, do not force him to be the song leader, Sunday school teacher, visitation director, bus driver, announcement maker, sign changer, special singer, usher, grounds keeper, etc. His main duty is to teach and preach the Word of God, everything else comes after that and others should fulfill those obligations.
2. Do not come up to the pastor before the service with random deep Bible questions or complaints or anything that might cause him undue stress, wait until after the service or sometime during the week. His mind is entirely focused on the most important part of the service - the message and does not need any distractions.
3. If someone in the Church is sick or has missed a service or two, don't ask the Pastor where they are or what's wrong with them. You are a member; you should ask the person yourself. If you are concerned about someone missing, call them up and ask them if they need something or if everything is alright. You can also ask one of the deacons because it is their responsibility to look after such matters.
4. If the Pastor asks if anyone has anything on their heart or something to say don't take that as your opportunity to make a pitch to sell girl scout cookies or make announcements about meetings, etc. There is a time and place for those things, and it is not during the worship service or invitation.
5. Speaking of invitations - during the invitation do not cause distractions, i.e.: zipping up Bibles, slapping Bibles shut, looking around, whispering to people, going to the bathroom, rattling candy wrappers, etc. the invitation is one of the very most important parts of the service, it should be a time of reverence and prayer.
6. Be present at EVERY service if possible. We all know there are times when you simply are not able to be at Church but if you have your name on the Church roll book you should participate in every service if at all possible.
7. Sit up front. In a Pastor’s mind, nothing says “I’m not interested or involved” like sitting on the back pew. It also looks extremely bad when the whole church building is empty and all the members on sitting on the back pews. What do you think that says to anyone that visits? How do you think that makes the Pastor feel when he’s spent his whole week and hours upon hours praying, studying, and meditating on a message and it seems no one cares?
8. If there are not a lot of members but you have a huge parking lot, park in the front and together with other cars. When the parking lot looks empty with random cars parked hundreds of feet apart it looks really bad to anyone visiting or just driving by. “Oh my gosh, NOBODY goes there anymore…”
Deacons
1. Your responsibility is to take the load off the pastor and allow him to study, pray, teach, and preach the Word.
2. You should not be asking the Pastor how "so and so" is and if "so and so" is out of the hospital yet. He should be the one asking you those questions.
3. If someone comes to the church looking for help (handouts, gas for car, hotel room, etc.) don't send them to the pastor. As a deacon you should have a plan in place for taking care of these matters. Get with the other deacons and handle the situation, if you absolutely must have the pastor involved, you stay with him and work through it, don't abandon him with some random stranger.
4. Take an active part of the service. Sit up front and encourage the pastor. Participate in altar prayer. Be prepared to help during the invitation period.
5. If a visitor comes and you do not know them and they ask to speak to the pastor, you go with them to the pastor and introduce them, don't point from the back of the church up to the pastor and say, "he's up there" and then run off. Since deacons are Spiritual leaders, you should be comfortable standing alongside your pastor in these situations.
6. If for some reason the Pastor is sick or unable to be at the service, either get someone to fill in for him or you, as a deacon and Spiritual leader, take his place. If all you do is read Scripture, pray and dismiss, DO IT!
7. Participate in business meetings. Don’t make the pastor have to be the moderator and have to use a cattle prod to get votes. Speak up, show leadership, make motions, support the pastor, do what’s best for the Church.
8. Be early or at least on time for EVERY service. If you are not able to be at a service let your pastor know ahead of time if possible.
There you have it. As a Pastor, I have experienced every single one of these. You do not have to agree or disagree with any of them, these are my experiences and my advice.