The three marks of masculine love in marriage in the NT are 1) gentleness (do not let familiarity cause you to treat her as common; realize she is weak for your benefit, you are her protector, she trusted you, and you owe her gentle, warming care), 2) selflessness (placing her highest good above all, including your own desires and comforts. Her best interests are holiness, so bring that about in her through the Word. This will restore priority which will restore intimacy), and 3) self-interest (not the same as selfishness, because there is never a conflict between her highest good and your best interests. Be so close to her that what happens to her happens to you, then do yourself a favor by doing her good.)
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