When we have disputes, we tend to focus on positions only, while ignoring the underlying interests. This passage calls us to keep our eye on the other person’s interest throughout the discussion, and to adopt that interest as our own. That person's interests are actually Christ's interest. But if our interests are godly interests, we should not be too quick to throw them out either. So instead of trying to defeat the person, or accommodate them, or avoid the conflict, or compromise, we should collaborate in an effort to serve both interests. Even if a good solution cannot be found, the relationship stays intact because both sides feel loved when the other person adopts their interests. If the other person's interests are sinful, call them to repentance and remind them of godly interests that they have lost sight of, like Abigail did with David.
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