Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
As a conservative Christian pastor, I tend to engage a lot of people who share a similar worldview to my own. Often, when speaking to conservatives, the issue of homosexuality will arise. The modern culture is demanding that homosexuality not only be accepted but that it be glorified as a positive alternative lifestyle choice (for more on this, I recommend the book A Queer Thing Happened to America by Dr. Michael Brown and The Same Sex Controversy by Dr. James White and Jeffrey Niell). Almost in every case, my conservative Christian friends will share my concern about the sinfulness of homosexuality and a need to call practicing homosexuals to repentance and faith.
However, one thing that I have realized is that when it comes to heterosexual sins there is a much different attitude. There is generally a lot less concern (if any at all) regarding the fact that many heterosexuals are engaging in premarital sexual relationships (often with multiple partners). One study has shown that in America 77% of people have had sexual intercourse by the age of 20 (htt p://w ww.nc bi.nl m.nih .gov/ pmc/a rticl es/PM C1802 108/) , and the vast majority of those were outside of the bond of marriage. This led to the study declaring “Almost all Americans have sex before marrying”. This would not be a shock to most people as we see premarital sex as a “normal” part of the American culture, glorified in movies, television shows, books and magazines.
What makes this issue even more discouraging is that many of the people who actively engage in premarital sex would identify themselves as Christians. In a recent report published by Christian Mingle and JDate, 61% of people identifying as Christians said they would have sex before marriage while 56% said it would be appropriate to move in with someone prior to marriage so long as they had been in the relationship for a certain period of time (http://www.christianpost.com/news/christians-are-following-secular-trends-in-premarital-sex-cohabitation-outside-of-marriage-says-dating-site-survey-113373/).
This is a very serious issue. The world has never attempted to hold itself to a biblical standard, but the Christian is supposed to be different from the world. Instead of addressing this sin for what it is, people often overlook it as being “just the way the world works”. As a result, there are churches who would not allow practicing homosexuals into membership, but are more than willing to accept practicing heterosexual sinners with little to no question. If films which promote sexual sin like the new movie Fifty Shades of Grey were about homosexual acts, rather than heterosexual ones, they would likely be avoided by many who identify themselves as believers. But because they are about heterosexual sin, many professing Christians will consume them without a second thought. The vast majority of sexual sin in the world is heterosexual sin and the church has turned a blind eye to it.
Keep in mind, it is not only unhealthy sexual relationships which are ungodly. Any sexual relationship which occurs outside of marriage is sinful. Sex was intended to be held within that sacred bond. Even in relationships which would otherwise be considered healthy and prosperous, when people engage in a lifestyle of sexual immorality they are living in open rebellion to God’s commands. The Christian must know and believe that God's intended order for things is always best. Even those things we may consider pleasurable when pursued in contradiction to God's commands lead only to pain, suffering, and death.
Is All Sin Equal?
A very popular belief among christians is that all sin is absolutely equal. This is based on the fact that all sin is a breach of God's Law (1 John 3:4) and a failure to meet His glorious standard (Romans 3:23) and ultimately if we break one law, we have broken the whole law (James 2:10). However, even though all sin makes us worthy of God’s wrath, that does not mean that all sin is equal in its temporal consequences. There are obvious differences in the consequences between lying and murder. Both are sins, but I am sure we would all prefer to be lied to than murdered. To be clear, I am in no way arguing for degrees of sin as is put forward by the Roman Catholic church. I do not believe that some sins are venial and some mortal (i.e. have the power to remove the grace of justification). Such a distinction is never made in Scripture. However, it is clear that different sins bear different temporal consequences.
The Apostle Paul points this out specifically in regard to sexual sin: “Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). There is something different about sexual sin than all other sin in that it involves the body in a way that no other sin does. As a result, the Apostle is telling us that the danger of sexual sin is of a different type than other sins. Sexual sin carries with it both physical and emotional consequences and it has the ability to reap a harvest of damage in the life of the person who engages in it. Premarital sexual relations can even carry serious consequences into a marriage, at times even bringing injury to an innocent spouse.
Furthermore, when we talk about sin, we must make the distinction between sin which is battled and sin which is loved. All believers will battle sin (1 John 1:8), yet believers cannot live lifestyles of continual, habitual, unrepentant sin and still believe themselves to be regenerate (1 John 3:9). One of the most obvious ways people live in habitual sin is when they choose to live together in a sexual relationship outside of marriage. In doing so, they forfeit any right to claim that they are living in a manner consistent with Scripture because they are living in continual, habitual, unrepentant sin. There is no battle with sin; but rather a full accepting love of it. Years ago, when two people lived together outside of marriage, it was called “living in sin” because people understood fornication to be sinful. Today, living together is called marriage preparation and it so common it is never even discussed. But that doesn’t mean it is not sin. It has just been sterilized by a sexually perverse society.
Engaging in Divorce Practice
One of the most dangerous things which accompanies the modern practice of having multiple intimate relationships is the issue of divorce. When people are engaging in sexual relationships prior to marriage, they are already making an emotional investment in those relationships. Even illicit sexual interludes create a unique connection between the two involved according to Scripture (1 Corinthians 6:16). As such, when the two involved in these relationships give up on one another and choose to “go their separate ways” they are, in essence, practicing divorce. They have been in a serious, intimate relationship with one person, and now they have ended that one only to go looking for the next. This creates the illusion that will carry over into the marriage relationship; the illusion that separation is not that serious. Once a person has broken from several intimate relationships, separating from a marriage will not seem that large of a leap.
The Beauty of Monogamy
When Jesus was asked about marriage, He gave a simple answer. “He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Matthew 19:4-6). I have read that passage at every wedding I have ever preached. I do so because I believe what Jesus said it true. Marriage is meant to be a life-long covenant between two people which is indissoluble. God designed it that way because of the threefold connection which happens when two people are joined in this sacred union (physical, emotional, and spiritual). When two people end a marriage, they are tearing apart an institution which God has commanded His people to honor and the results are tragic.
A relationship which exists between two people, wherein they have kept themselves for one another and continue to keep themselves for one another is one of the most beautiful things God has created. It is so wonderful that the Bible uses this as an illustration of the relationship of Christ to His Church (Ephesians 5:25). When sexual immorality is the norm in society, these undefiled relationships become less common. The beauty of monogamy is lost in a sea of fornication and adultery. “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Hebrews 13:4).
A Call to Repentance
No one can change the past. No one can go back even one minute before now and change a thing. However, we can move forward with a new understanding and a new conviction. God’s Word tells us that sexual immorality is a sin. It doesn’t matter how much it is glorified in the media. It doesn’t matter how much it is permitted in society. It doesn’t matter how much it is purported even within the church. It is sin, and it should therefore be taken seriously. The Bible is clear that we are not supposed to love sin or to defend sin. Sexual sin is treated as non-sin by the media, but rarely are the consequences addressed in the entertainment media though the news media deals with the consequences regularly.
We are called to repent of our sin. That means that we have a change of mind which results in a change of conduct. It’s not enough to just say something is not good, or even acknowledge that it is evil. We must forsake it, flee from it, and find our refuge in the forgiveness provided by Jesus Christ. I pray that if you find yourself living a continual, habitual, unrepentant sinful lifestyle that you will repent today and seek to follow the Savior. |
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