It's been a while since we talked. Let me update you on the changes that have taken place within and around me.

During and after the Korea adventure this past summer, my life fell apart for awhile. Partly from lack of sleep, partly from too much stress, partly from hearing too many North Korean stories, I had a temporary mental breakdown that began my second week in Korea. I continued to write my blogs, and interview believers, and attend meetings, and teach Bible and English, but my mental-emotional state was on panic alert. It was probably the most extended tragedy of my life.

I thought that when the wheels of the airplane touched on American soil after seven weeks in Korea, I would be instantly cured. When I wasn't, that fact alone made me get worse. My hope had been pinned on the wrong event.

I went to the emergency room twice during those times, after having sought and received medical treatment in Korea. I was put on medicines, introduced to a psychiatrist or two, and came painfully close to being committed to a psychiatric ward. If I had done that, I might be there still.

Of course, I hope you know, all during this time I was in prayer. Not normal fold-your-hands-and-be-polite prayer. Loud petitions. Groanings from my very depths. I repented of so much silliness that I had held on to, even as we all do. I made deals. You know, the jail-house religion style. My wife took me to meetings all over Seoul.

I hate to put it like this, but nothing worked. That is, I was not able to move God with tantrums or all my plans and efforts.

In America, more of the same. Medicine, prayer meetings, lots and lots of worship music. Waiting, calling desperately on God.

I missed the first month of school. Nothing anywhere near this has ever happened to me. The thought of missing all that work still bothers me in late March.