1. The world says a co-dependent person lacks balance in relationships with other people who are significant. They are either being excessively dependent or they are being excessively independent. Scripture shows that this person may be unloving, selfish, hostile, inconsiderate, insensitive, over demanding, spiritually immature, impatient, unreasonable and/or arrogant (Ephesians 4:31-32, Isaiah 2:22, James 3:14-17).
2. The world says a co-dependent person is a master of denial and repression. Scripture would use the terminology; fearful, deceitful, covers sin, unrepentant, loves darkness, walks in darkness, doesn't understand or accept God's grace or forgiveness (John 3:19-21, James 1:22, Proverbs 28:13).
3. The world would say a co-dependent person is punctuated by extremes. Scripture would call it inconsistency, lack of steadfastness, double mindedness, instability, lack of self-control, lack of spiritual growth (James 1:6-12, Ephesians 4:12-15, Galatians 5:19-21, 1 Peter 4:3-4).
4. The world would say a co-dependent person is constantly looking for something. Scripture would say he is discontented, ungrateful, greedy, covetous, lacking in faith, orientated toward the world, materialistic, sensual (Hebrews 13:5-6, Philippians 4:10-13, 1 Timothy 6:6-10).
5. The world would say a co-dependent person is not responsible for his actions and reactions. They would say that this responsibility falls on the shoulders of other significant people in his life who have made him the way he is. Scripture teaches that this person needs to be treated with compassion and gentleness, but that he is still responsible for his actions and reactions. If he/she is a Christian, he/she has the resources to learn a new godly way of living and responding to past abuses. The past hardships can be turned into present and future blessings (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:7, Romans 8:28, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 4:7-8).
6. The world would say a co-dependent person is a person who needs more self-esteem, confidence in self, to trust self more, to become more self-reliant, to become more concerned about self than about others. Scripture teaches that this person needs to learn to know and trust Christ more. He/she needs to understand and appropriate God's all-sufficient grace. He/she needs to understand the resources we have in Christ-who we are and what we have in Christ. He/she needs to lose self for Christ's sake and the sake of others. He/she needs to develop the mind of Christ. He/she needs spiritual growth and may need discipling and biblical counselling to accomplish these changes (Philippians 2:3-11, 4:10-13, Luke 9:23-24, Romans 12:3-8, 1 Corinthians 15:9-10, Galatians 6:1-3, 14, 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Romans 8:15-17, etc.).
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