This is a label for a vast range of wrong patterns of thought, attitude and behaviour. It is convenient to staple this tag to the ears of many people in order to explain their actions. Scripture brings clarity to the issues raised by the co-dependency tag. What I would like to do here (what Dr. Mack has done) is to show the contrast between the way the world views the issue of co-dependency and the way in which the Bible speaks of that same way of life.
1. The world says a co-dependent person is a person who has been horribly mistreated by others; and Scripture agrees that many people have been greatly sinned against (Colossians 3:21, Ephesians 6:4).
2. The world says a co-dependent person needs unconditional positive regard and non-judgemental treatment. Scripture teaches that they should be treated in a compassionate, respectful, gentle, patient, yet truthful way (1 Peter 3:8, Romans 12:15, Acts 20:31, Galatians 6:1, 2, 1 Corinthians 12:25, 26, 2 Corinthians 4:2, Ephesians 4:15).
3. The world says a co-dependent person is obsessively compulsive. The driving force in their life is their one or many compulsions. Scripture shows that such a person is captivated, enslaved by various lusts. He is held captive by his own sins and is not walking by the Spirit (2 Timothy 2:26, Titus 3:3, Proverbs 5:22, Galatians 5:16-19).
4. The world says a co-dependent person is tormented about the way things were in their family of origin. The Bible shows that such a person could in fact be bitter, resentful, angry, discouraged, hateful, and/or unforgiving. He needs to forgive and choose not to insist on remembering the wrongs in the past and press on with what is right (Titus 3:3, Galatians 5:16-21, Psalm 37:1-22).
5. The world says a co-dependent person has low self-esteem, poor self-image. Scripture would say that such a person lacks self-denial, lacks faith, is self-centred. He loves himself too much. He is a performance-oriented type of person, thinking he can earn merit before God and people by his personal efforts.
6. The world says a co-dependent person depends on the approval and acceptance of other people for his personal happiness. Scripture would describe this as an idolatrous attachment to people. This person is too man-centred and fears people in an inordinate way (Proverbs 29:25, Isaiah 2:22, Jeremiah 17:5-8).
7. The world says a co-dependent person feels excessively responsible for other people and their circumstances. Scripture would see such a person attempting to play God, being proud, conceited, anxious, worried, thinking of himself too highly, arrogant (Matthew 6:24-34, Romans 12:3, Philippians 4:6-9, Psalm 37:1-6).
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