When I was younger, I love to talk (usually about myself!). As I advance in age, one of the things I learned is that listening is the best way to communicate and grow. This lesson was brought to me forcefully during a field trip about 20 years ago. I was with a colleague whose one goal in mind seemed to be to talk about her life experiences. Whatever topic we talked about, she had a story to tell about herself. I was struck by how such a trait discourages two-way communication. More importantly, I was rebuked by the same tendency I saw in myself.

Since then I resolved to be more of a listener than a talker. One time I had a long conversation with an uncle in which I hardly spoke and merely listened. Afterwards, I heard him comment that we had a great conversation! He appreciated me more because I listened. Too many times, we want to tell our stories rather than listen to others. In the process we fail to truly communicate.

As a side bonus, I noticed that when I listen, I also grow in knowledge. Each person I talk to has a unique story to tell or a new knowledge of share. Finally, I believe that a lot of conflicts will be avoided if we learn to listen first rather than talk first.