Ministerial Confessions Horatius Bonar.
We have not been men of prayer. The spirit of prayer has slumbered among
us. The closet has been too little frequented and delighted in. We have allowed
business, study or active labor to interfere with our closet hours. A feverish
atmosphere has found its way into our closet, disturbing the sweet calm of its
blessed solitude. Sleep, company, idle visiting, foolish talking and jesting, idle
reading, unprofitable occupations, engross time that might have been
redeemed for prayer. Why is there so little concern to get time to pray? Why
is there so much speaking, yet so little prayer? Why is there so much running
to and fro, yet so little prayer? Why so much bustle and business, yet so little
prayer? Why so many meetings with our fellow men, yet so few meetings with
God? Why so little being alone, so little thirsting of the soul for the calm,
sweet hours of unbroken solitude, when God and His child hold fellowship
together as if they could never part? It is the lack of these solitary hours that
not only injures our own growth in grace, but makes us such unprofitable
members of the church of Christ, and that renders our lives useless. In order
to grow in grace, we must be much alone with God. It is not in society, even
Christian society that the soul grows most rapidly and vigorously. In one
single quiet hour of prayer it will often make more progress than in whole
days of company with others. It is in the 'desert' that the dew falls freshest
and the air is purest. So with the soul. It is when none but God is near; when
His presence alone, like the desert air in which there is mingled no noxious
breath of man, surrounds and pervades the soul; it is then that the eye gets the
clearest, simplest view of eternal certainties; it is then that the soul gathers in
wondrous refreshment and power and energy. Nearness to God, fellowship
with God, waiting upon God, resting in God, have been too little the
characteristic either of our private or our ministerial walk. Hence our
example has been so powerless, our labors so unsuccessful, our sermons so
meager, our whole ministry so fruitless and feeble.
We have not honored the Holy Spirit. We have not sought His teaching or His
anointing. "But you have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you
know the truth." (1 John 2:20). Neither in the study of the Word nor the
preaching of it to others, have we duly acknowledged His office as the
Enlightener of the understanding, the Revealer of the truth, the Testifier and
Glorifier of Christ. We have grieved Him by the slight put upon Him as the
Teacher, the Convincer, the Comforter, the Sanctifier. Hence He has almost
departed from us, and left us to reap the fruit of our own perversity and
unbelief. Besides, we have grieved Him by our inconsistent walk, by our lack
of circumspection, by our worldly mindedness, by our unholiness, by our
prayerlessness, by our unfaithfulness, by our lack of solemnity, by a life and
conversation so little in conformity with the character of a disciple or the
office of ambassador.