“But if any man thinks he is acting improperly toward his virgin, if she is past marriageable age, and so it must be, he can do what he wants. He is not sinning; they can get married. But he who stands firm in his heart (who is under no compulsion, but has control over his own will) and has decided in his heart to keep his own virgin, will do well. So then he who marries his virgin does well, but he who does not marry will do better.”

It is good not to marry, even if you have been spending time together, if there is no necessity.

When two believers pursue marriage, thinking it may be God’s will, and one or both decide to withdraw, then it is good. So long as holiness is maintained and love is shown, they have not sinned. They are not forced into marriage, simply because they prayed about it and spent time together.

Recently, I saw a post. A writer said that a man shouldn’t even pursue a woman, unless he’s sure that he wants to marry her. How can he know that, until he gets to know her better? Is it simply from observation and prayer? No.

These are needless rules that bind people in an attempt to protect feelings. What about his feelings? Should a woman allow herself to be pursued by a man who she doesn’t absolutely know that she’ll marry? How can she tell? It is in getting to know each other that they decide if mutual burning passion exists. If not, then they do BETTER to remain single.

Holiness, godliness, love, and compassion rule our relationships in Christ. All of them. Let the one whose heart gets broken look to the Lord for comfort, since it is He who said, “No.” Let the one who broke the heart remember the Lord’s comfort and have compassion on the other person. No ghosting, no cruelty, no arrogance. Understand that someone cares about you, whom you have hurt, not intentionally and not by sinning, but it is love unrequited and marriage hopes disappointed.

This compassion guides us in our relationships…not fear that this must work out (or we’re sinning in the eyes of others.) Anytime our culture has rules that contradict the Scriptures, we must let culture go. Be completely biblical and free.