Evening is a wondeful time for serving your family, finding rest and enjoyment, and devoting yourself to God's Word and to prayer. But there are other ways to devote your evening to the Lord.

Work to Be Done

Fifth, you might have some duties that have spilled over from your working day. Work for school and work around the house are two examples, but there are many ways this can happen. As a pastor, it is difficult to stop thinking about my duties in the church. This is God’s calling upon my life. But I must put the work down. I must maintain a healthy boundary for the sake of my family. If I do not lead and serve my family well, I cannot lead and serve the church well (1 Timothy 3:4). Spiritually healthy homes are the building blocks of spiritually healthy churches. What if the pastor’s home is spiritually unhealthy?!

I must, nevertheless, be available for emergencies and crises. There are things I must do regardless of the time. In one respect, though, this is not being a pastor—it is being a faithful Christian brother. It is not special. It is not abnormal. Christian men and women are by necessity Christian brothers and sisters. We are a family in Christ. We are filled and bound by the Holy Spirit. We are the household God. We are a close-knit community of faith, hope, and love (Acts 2:42-47). Neither you nor I, because of Christ and for the sake of our brothers and sisters, cease exercising care for each other in the evening. That would be absurd. I admit, however, as a pastor, I will bear more of such duties that might spill over into evening. Leaders must do just that—they must lead the charge in basic Christian duties.

What about you? Well, some of your duties are bound to spill over from the working day into the evening. You must attend to them faithfully as needed, but do not become a slave to them. Do not let them rule your evening. Work hard but do not be a workaholic. Create boundaries but do not be slack and lazy in fulfilling your duties. Your work is part of what God has called you to do in this world as His servant, but your work does not define who you are. And it is not your primary calling. Pastoring is God’s calling upon my life, but Christ is my life (Colossians 3:4). Pastoring is God’s calling upon my life regarding my duties in the body of Christ, but this is not my only calling or my first calling.

You and I—and every other true believer—all have the same fundamental calling. We are all called in Christ as disciples of the living God. I am a disciple before I am a pastor. Pastoring is God’s calling upon my life as a disciple, but discipleship is the calling of my life. You and I are the same in this. Whatever work spills over into the home, and it is bound to happen, it must never supplant our primary duties of God-centered, faith-based, Christ-exalting discipleship as it relates to family life. Before anything else, we are students of the Master.

“Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. [39] And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. [40] But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, ‘Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.’ [41] But the Lord answered her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, [42] but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her’” (Luke 10:38-42).

Do not be too busy to devote your evenings to the Lord. Do not be too distracted to learn from Jesus what is best. He is best. Mothers, fathers, do not be too busy to be a servant of Christ to each other and your children. This is how children of the Lord conduct themselves in the evening.

Discipleship Here and There

Sixth, you might gather with your family for a time of encouragement and prayer. Do not be too formal, or formal at all for that matter. Do not try to replicate the order and aura of the Lord’s day assembly of the whole congregation. Rather, in a natural and warm manner, gather the family together to read and discuss God’s Word, pray together, and encourage one another. Pray for wisdom here. Do not exasperate your family. Do not try to cram all of discipleship into family devotions; it is just one piece of discipleship. But it is an important piece. We do not want to be hypocrites who love attending church but forget to attend to the things of God in the home. Also, we do not want to pretend to care about the things of God at home but neglect gathering and serving with the church. Personal devotion, family discipleship, and the body life of the church are not in competition; they are complementary. They are different components of seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, while everything else God takes care of as He pleases (Matthew 6:33-34).

Seventh, you might gather with your church for a time of service or discipleship. Meetings, Bible studies, ministry preparation, choir practice, evangelism efforts, prayer gatherings, or simply practicing hospitality for the Lord’s sake are a few examples. The body life of the church is not limited to congregational worship on the Lord’s day. Congregational worship is the high point of a week lived for God. It is central. It is not, however, the sum-total of a church’s spiritual life or ministry. There are other ways to serve, grow, care for, and fellowship with the saints of God in the kingdom of God for the glory of God.

Some tend toward slothfulness in these matters. Others tend toward busy-ness and over-committing. Pride is the common root. There is a healthy balance that only God can help you find. Those on the slothfulness side seem to not love the church as they ought. Those on the busy-ness and over-commitment side seem to find their identity in what they do, in their works. It is not the quantity of our service that makes it truly worshipful; but surely a lack of service is not the answer. We do not want to be addicts of vain religion; and we do not want to be sluggards known for laziness in the house of God.

These things are not easy to discern, but there are people in your church who can help you. I will leave it at this: work toward avoiding the extremes. Avoid the extreme of being a church attender who is, for all intents and purposes, absent from the body life of the church. Also, avoid the extreme of a works based and self-focused workaholism in the body life of the church. If you ever find yourself behaving as if God needs you, it is time to repent. God does not need us to get His work done. We need God. God graciously uses us to get His work done, but that is a grace according to His secret providence. And beware. The busy-ness of outward religion is often a cover-up for a life of sin.

“On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ [23] And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness’” (Matthew 7:22-23).

They were doing good things. But they were hypocrites. They were living double lives. Their religion was a front. They based their identity and security on their works, but they were lost. They were fakers. The one who is quite busy in church has no room for pride against the sluggard in the house of God. “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18).

Evening is a Precious Gift

Evening is from the Lord and for the Lord. He is worthy of your evening devotion. How can we devote our evenings to the Lord? There is plenty to do! This is not time to be wasted. It is precious.

First, you can do things to serve your family.

Second, you can find rest and enjoyment in good things from God.

Third, you might devote special time to God’s Word.

Fourth, you might devote yourself to secret prayer.

Fifth, you might have some duties that have spilled over from your working day.

Sixth, you might gather with your family for a time of encouragement and prayer.

Seventh, you might gather with your church for a time of service or discipleship.

Whatever you do, do not waste away into a black hole of worldly disconnectedness with no purpose or meaning. Do not let it be a time to indulge in secret sin. Is it really secret? “And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account” (Hebrews 4:13). “For nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light” (Luke 8:17).

Embrace evening for Christ. It is not throw-away time. Remember that rest is good, but laziness is sin. Enjoyment is good, but enjoyment exalted as a god is idolatry. It will be judged. We each have one life; and life is short. Live for God on earth on your way to God in heaven. “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also” (Matthew 6:21).