THE WORD OF GOD GIVES US CERTAIN INJUNCTIONS OR GUIDELINES TO FOLLOW IN OUR ROLE AS PARENTS. It is our responsibility to master these principles and incorporate them into our family life. As we do this we become disciples—followers of Christ, of God and of His pattern for our family. A follower of Christ is a disciple, thus the title of this workshop: Family Discipleship. As such, we are authority driven, not results driven. By authority driven, I mean that we base our decisions not on visible results but on the authority of the Word of God. The latter is a precarious road indeed, while the former is the road of Family Discipleship. What this means is: if God’s Word tells us to behave a certain way—even if we do not experience this behavior as positive or profitable—that we will still conform our behavior to God’s will, using His Word as our standard, irrespective of our own personal experience or the perceived experiences of others. Contrastingly, if God’s Word tells us to refrain from certain behaviors, then, even if we experience this behavior as pleasant, as profitable, or perceive it as such in others, we will still refrain from this behavior, based on the authority of God’s Word.
Let me explain: my brother, my sister and me are all engaged in full-time Christian service. So you might ask yourself, “What methods were employed in raising three fine Christian workers?” Since both our parents were non-Christian, alcoholics in a totally dysfunctional home, the reply would be, “Get drunk nightly; beat and abuse your children; neglect them in most areas; give them total freedom and, in no case, restrict their hedonistic tendencies. The result will be that they will grow up to be pastors, missionaries and full-time Christian workers.” I think not, but this is exactly what happened in our case.
Similarly, I have a former high school buddy who is a drug addict and is wasting away somewhere in the merchant marines in the South Pacific. If you ask, “How do you raise such a child?” his parents would have to respond, “Be loving parents—father, a deacon in the church; mother—a Sunday School teacher and active in the Church youth council. Be active in your child’s life, disciplining the child, nurturing him, and raising him in the instruction of the Word of God.” This is exactly what happened to my high school friend. He had it all and gave it all away.
In both cases, the child ultimately had to decide whom he would serve. In both cases, the parents are separate from the child’s ultimate decision. My parents will not be rewarded for their children’s decision, nor will my friends be judged. Each of us made our decision as adults. Both sets of parents will be held accountable for how they responded to God’s Word and the principles set forth in His Word in terms of their role as parents. As for my siblings and me, we had to learn everything from scratch. My friend, should he turn to God, will have at his fingertips the wealth of training that his parents laid up for him in his life.
As an illustration, I was visiting in the home of a minister and, during the meal, one of his children poured salt into my coffee and then squealed with laughter. This action reflects upon the pastor and his wife. Before leaving, I shared my disappointment with both the child’s action and their reaction, which was to view it as precocious and impish behavior. They were amused. By contrast, I know a minister who is older than me and was arrested for drunken disorderliness. This action does not reflect upon his father. I would not go to the phone, call his father and rebuke him. This action rests entirely at the feet of the offending pastor.
If I see an unruly, disobedient two-year-old, I think, “Shame on that parent.” If I see an unruly, disobedient 15-year-old, I think “Shame on that young man.” If you, as a parent, got up right now and went out and held up a liquor store, I would not pick up the phone and rebuke your parents. The responsibility would rest with you. We, as parents, have to reconcile ourselves to the fact that the time when this will be true of our children is fast approaching, and we must be hard at work to prepare our children for that day.
That means we must prepare our children to leave. It is the goal of the FDS to equip you, as a parent, to be an effective Family Discipler. As Family Disciplers, our goal, from the birth of our child onward, must be to prepare him to leave. A child has 18 years with us, and then another 50 to 60 years away from us. Our emphasis must be on these 50 or 60 years. Our success is the same as Jesus’. Jesus Christ said to His disciples in Luke 6:40 "A pupil is not above his teacher; but everyone, after he has been fully trained, will be like his teacher.” Now what did this look like for Jesus? Well, in Mark 3:14, the Word of God tells us, “And He appointed twelve that they might be with Him and that they might send Him out to preach.” The goal of Christ was to train the twelve as disciples, and then send them out as fruitful, responsible, independent Apostles. Thus, we are successful when our children are both fruitful and fulfilled in their lives, and walk with God apart from their parents—parents who themselves have been shaped by their obedience to the authority of Christ’s commands.
For more visit http://www.gciweb.org and click on “Family Discipleship Seminars Workbook.”
Bill looked me straight in the face. He was dead serious. “John, I have been thinking about home- schooling my children. When they leave high school, they will enter a pagan world. Even the best Christian...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
MANY COUPLES THAT ATTEND OUR SEMINAR INVARIABLY ASK TWO QUESTIONS. The first is relatively simple. “How did this seminar come about?”…We came into marriage without a clue as to how to be good, loving, Christian parents. However, God used this for...[ abbreviated | read entire ]
