Paul thinks, "On the one hand, it would be far better for me to die and wake up in Heaven with the Lord Jesus. On the other hand, staying here and continuing to minister to you is more needful for you." Paul views life as sacred. He doesn't have a death wish. But he is not clinging to life in selfishness either. Paul is not saying, "I'm in so much pain from being beaten that I just want to die." He doesn't say, "I can't do what I once had the freedom to do. I might as well be dead." These are the selfish reasons many people use before murdering themselves. Suicide begins with wrong, selfish thinking.
Also, Paul never thought, "I've made a lot of money tent-making. It would be nice to enjoy my retirement years." He didn't even say, "I don't want to leave my loved ones behind. What would they do without me?" He doesn't selfishly cling to life either. Many people want to die for the wrong reasons. Many people don't want to die for the wrong reasons.
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To Live or Die? Life of Joy and Peace Heritage Baptist Church