Today began normally enough. The clock ticked forward from 11:59 pm to 12:00 am then 12:01 am. I was on a roll in my studies. Sermon prep was going well in the “investigate” stage – the stage where you read and scribble things down. You draw lines connecting common terms and outlining the argument. You open up a commentary, hoping an explanation of a certain phrase will answer the question that your study has led to. And then it hits you. Like a freight train it hits you. The weight and magnitude of what you’ve just seen takes your breath away and you begin to tremble; quietly putting the pen and paper down. Even perhaps a tear spontaneously wells up in your eye before rolling down your cheek and falling to stain the page of your Bible. You bow your head in worship, confessing the greatness and majesty of God that you never before understood in this way. What you’ve seen is a “game changer” and words will often fail you to describe what you’ve seen though you will never unsee or unexperience that moment.
What occurred in a moment of unusual fellowship with God will change your whole worldview, so that what you’ve seen and heard now is hammered out into the fabric of your definitions – your vocabulary. Perhaps its from the word “glory” – now after this moment, you will never go back to the old way you used to understand “glory”. It may be an understanding of the good hand of God in the face of deep suffering, and now you will never “un-understand” what you’ve seen in that moment.
I’ve found that when these kinds of experiences come, the accompanying message carries with it unusual weight and unusual impact. Where normally only your grandma says “good sermon” this time the usually bored teenager comes up with tears and says “I needed that today. Thank you.”
I can’t explain it. I didn’t bring it about. Certainly, in pride one could say “Yes. I had a part in it. If I would not have been reading my Bible then . . . “ and at the same time forget the ten thousand other times they read their Bible and were as cold as a New York City winter. What was it that made the difference? What caused the unusual warming of the soul to delight in God through illumined eyes, to see things previously there, but previously left un-treasured? It is grace – grace alone.
In the service today something special happened during the message. I really don’t know what, but out of about one hundred and ten people attending, it felt as if eighty of them had opened the Scriptures and were sitting with Bible in hands, leaning forward with great attentiveness. I didn’t feel as if the organization or sermon outline was very good, or terribly clear. My delivery wasn’t practiced or planned, and felt as if there were unnecessary repetitions. The introduction was boring, lacking a story, and the conclusion also wasn’t anything to write home about. After it was over, a woman told me as she left that she did not like the sermon and found it upsetting. I looked at her and said “I understand” – yet in spite of all of these things, there was an almost tangible sense that God had worked among us today. Several others made such observation. Something special happened today but I’m not sure what it was.
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