As I have shared before, the ministries in which God has called me to are the family, and the revival of His church. There are many tasks that must be done to accomplish this, one of which is to reveal the many lies that the church has fallen to. Today, I will tackle one of those lies, and that is the lie that tells us how siblings are suppose to relate to one another.
The world would have us believe that siblings are to constantly be at each others throats. We are led to believe that siblings just can't get along with each other, and because we believe it, we expect it and thus we get what we expect. Having the passion for families that I do, I am constantly observing how other families relate to one another. Countless times I see a sibling strike another just to be mean, or as I watch, they both run screaming about what the other has done to them, simply to get the other in trouble. If these families are ever questioned, they just shrug and say, "That's what brothers and sisters do". This is nothing more than a lie. Siblings are to love and to support one another, not hate and tear down the other.
Have you ever witnessed two kids quarreling and then heard an adult say, "well they must be brother and sister". I pray that the way people will tell that my children are brother and sister will be by the love and support they show for one another.
There are several ways in which we have been duped in to believing this lie. The first is that our children, along with us, constantly see this lie lived out before them on TV. No more are the days of the Cleavers, and the Bradys, as we have made room for shows that stress the constant bickering of not only the spouses, but also the siblings. We see it enough and slowly our culture is transformed into believing that our children are enemies of one another.
Another way is that our children have been taught that life is "all about them". They are rushed away to all sorts of different activities. One is at this school, ones at another, he's in scouts, she's in dance, he play's ball, and she takes gymnastics. Their enjoyment comes from doing what they want to do. When this attitude sets in, the siblings activities are viewed as an attack on their own activities. This causes the sibling to be viewed not as a sibling, who should be loved, but rather as a rival that should be conquered.
Now I know that anyone living in the same house is going to have conflicts from time to time, anyone denying that would simply be a fool. What I am saying is that this spirit of conflict should not be the norm in our homes. My children occasionally will grow frustrated with one another, but again this is not the norm. When one our older children are gone, Josiah does not run around basking in this time without his brother or sister, no he looks for them, and is extremely excited upon their return.
Parents, we must instill a heart attitude of love and service between our children, not bitterness and resentment. It may require a change in lifestyle, and it may require less extracurricular activities, and it will definitely require your involvement and guidance. This is not an attack on TV, activities and such, but I will say that none of these will strengthen your family as much as will a heart of genuine, expressed love between your children. Remember, as parents we lead our families, this even means the shaping of the views our children hold towards one another. Are you actively encouraging your children to view one another as a blessing or as a rival? |
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