I'm not a pastor. And calling out names before in my writings got me in trouble with the Lord. Nevertheless I believe I have the green light to name descriptive characteristics of false teachers so that anyone can recognize these monsters on sight.

"Monsters" you say? So severe? Yes, I'm using a rather severe source for my authority. It's a blistering denunciation written by none other than the apostle Peter. Straying weakling little lambs who are all excited by the current crop of false luminaries need to have this list of Peter force-fed to them by someone who cares.

There have been deceivers in every generation. There have been silly sheep who go after them. The true sheep wake up in time. The others were looking for a show and got what they wanted.

All right, Peter, talk to us. It's II Peter chapters 1 and 2.

At the end of chapter one, Peter lays the foundation for all prophetic utterance, the standard by which all utterances of our day must be judged. Those prophecies already written came by way of the Holy Ghost and are not to be changed in any way.

But, says Peter, along with those true prophets were a gang of false ones. And though we too have true utterances, which have likewise been recorded for us in the New Testament, Peter says look out! These words are going to be challenged too. Here's how to recognize what's happening:

v. 1 The false words will come in secretly. Not to entire denominations. Not to major churches. But here and there the ideas will be planted, and then spread.

v. 1 Some will go so far as to deny the Lord altogether. This is not explained. Does it mean that cardinal doctrines about Jesus will be discredited? His atoning power? His resurrection? Or to equate their own words with His? Or imply that the words of Jesus are passe, that we need fresh fire, fresh words from Heaven?

v. 2 Because of their ways, that is, their habits or lifestyles, or just the awfulness of the teaching, even the outside world will curse the Christian message. We will be a laughingstock not because of the truth but because of the ridiculous additions to the message.

v. 3 These men will be known to be covetous. They will fleece the flock instead of feed it. They will live like kings using the offerings given innocently to God.

v. 10 These men, and let us not leave out the women, will be obviously fleshly in their demeanor. Many will try to excuse them in the name of Christian liberty, but eventually someone will just have to say, these guys are in the flesh, not the Spirit.

v. 10 They will be lust-filled men, unclean in body and soul.

v. 11 They will despise authority, treat it lightly, and raise themselves up to fill the void they have created.

v. 11 They will be presumptuous, intruding into people's lives with an unholy boldness.

v. 11 They will be self-willed. Ever try to speak to one of these "prophets" and convince him of anything?

v. 11 They will have a light attitude toward heavenly authorities, and in their own fleshly power will come against angelic forces. They will breathe a sense of familiarity with angels and demons that will be unhealthy and unsafe.

v.12 In keeping with the latter, they will "speak evil of things they do not even understand."

v. 14 These will be adulterous men, who lead others into sexual immorality.

v. 15 They do what they do in church to receive a financial reward.

v. 18 They are great speakers. "Great swelling words" come from their mouths. But it is all show, all flesh, and the end result is the re-capturing of souls who were on their way out of the world. Now these straying ones have found a flesh champion in the church and they do not follow the way of holiness any longer.

v. 19 They preach "liberty" from the old bondage, as they call it. Liberty from the "same ol' Christianity". But they are slaves to their lusts.

Now I have seen men and women like this on TV and in church. How about you? I have heard of others by doing research on the Internet. How about you?

Oh brothers and sisters, beware! When you hear about brother so-and-so, do a few things before you go hear him preach:

• Pray with all your heart for God's wisdom and discernment
• Check him out by what is known about him! Most of these charlatans have already been nailed by godly pastors. We live in the Internet age, and there is no excuse for people being deceived unless they want to. A simple Googling of the teacher's name will bring up the information you need.
• One thing NOT to do: Go check him out in person. If he is a deceiver, and you have any weak areas at all, you'll be prey to his poison. Pray, study, be sure! You do not need to drink the poison to know it will kill you.