But I have learned something from the sufferings of others there. I've learned to obey the Biblical mandate to "remember the prisoners." I learn from the saints there to trust God one day at a time in my own negative situations. I'm seeing that one must wait for God to open prison doors, but that one must continue to be faithful while waiting.

I hear them teach me that God's grace is sufficient.

I learn from Hoeryong that carrying the cross is not for a selected few, but for all who would follow the crucified Christ. I learn that things don't matter, but people do, and One Person in particular. I am learning that I actually need the cross, and I need the North Koreans more than they need me.

It is certainly a romantic notion that I actually desire what they have, though I want to believe that I do. I have seen my grumbling ways over the smallest of difficulties. My tolerance for pain or even discomfort or inconvenience is near zilch. Yet the spirit touched by God that He is making me, reaches out to the fellowship of His suffering and ignites a burning of the heart. There is a sweetness about it somehow. The days I spent with the suffering church in Romania were among the most difficult yet the most blessed ever.

I think that in seeing these saints move on in spite of the pain, in viewing their patience, their selflessness, I have seen Christ. It is Him I desire after all. But how shall I ever attain to this vision? I who have lived in a land of plenty, where balance is a virtue, and the quest for security is downright heroic. Very few have ripped off the mask of these two impostors to see that one is lukewarmness and the other is the love of this present evil world.