The words above describe how I feel most days while in quarantine. There are so many things in my life that I should be grateful for. And yet, there are things that I am longing for.
Paul said that “if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content” (I Timothy 6:8). So in this time of forced quarantine, I reflect on the countless blessings of God and a flood of contentment wash over my soul. Our village in picturesque Los Baños is not a bad place to be quarantined. I can walk around the village in the morning and early evening, getting my requisite ten thousand steps. My wife Haydee has elevated her cooking to chef level, a boon to our appetite (but a bane to calorie levels!). A daily life of quiet study suits me well, so working at home fits me to a T. With fiber optics powering our internet, I am in touch with my colleagues daily. I have time to read and write with minimal disturbance. And I am not missing the twice a week gauntlet (aka heavy traffic) to reach my office in Metro Manila.
So, yes, I am thankful to God and am content to be quarantined for all of the above. But, there is another side of me that yearns for things I cannot do. Foremost of these, I am missing the Sunday worship of our church, the Trinity Bible Church. As the Psalmist cried, “How lovely is your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts! My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD; my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God.” (Psalm 84:1-2). Indeed, all Christians long for the day when they can worship again with God’s people.
I also miss traveling with my wife to visit family, loved ones, and brethren, or just to hang out together. There are times when I wish to interact personally with my colleagues in the office as we celebrate small victories together or wrestle with an intractable problem.
Which brings us to the paradox of the Christian life. Like Paul, we want to learn to be content in whatever circumstances we are in (see Philippians 4:11). Yet in the same letter, the apostle implies a holy discontent in the things of this world when he said that “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” (Philippians 1:23b).
The Christian life is truly a paradox— contented, yet longing for a much better world beyond.
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