Approaching Church Leadership

“The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, … Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are to be rebuked publicly, so that the others may take warning.” (1 Timothy 5:17-20)

Those who are called to lead as elders in the Christ’s church will be making and announcing decisions which affect the church. Some of these decisions will be popular while others will meet with questions and, perhaps, even resistance among the membership.

Members have a personal responsibility to see that their church pleases the Lord (who is the ultimate Sovereign over all of the churches). That means that there will be times when members must approach their church leaders about matters in the church, perhaps decisions which the elders have made. How, and in what spirit, should that be done?

• Look at the matter biblically. Are the elders doing what Christ says in His Word? If the answer is yes, support your leaders. If you think the answer is no, plan to address the issue with your leaders – listening to what they have to say. You might be right in your analysis of the facts you have at hand, but you may discover other information as you talk with them. Remember, it starts with a biblical foundation – is the decision of the elders consistent with His Word?
• Look at the church at large. Even though these matters may not be pleasing to you, are the leaders’ decisions effectively serving the needs of the entire body? If so, you must be willing to put your personal preferences aside.
• Pray about the matter and for your leaders. Pray for their wisdom, courage, and love for the flock. Pray for your own attitude, patience, and forbearance.
• Never criticize your leaders to other members or outside the church. You will be working directly against the call to submit to those in authority over the body, and in violation of the right Christian spirit when dealing with issues of concern. You may find yourself the catalyst that initiates a schism or unrest in within the church – a matter that our Lord takes most seriously.
• Study the matter carefully. Pray that God will give you wisdom and judgment in those areas.
• Never assume the worst about your leaders – or any other believer. Go into the situation with an open mind, carefully listening to their position with a committed eye toward a full resolution that honors God.
• Ask for a private appointment (with the elders, not with “a” elder) and keep the matter private as long as possible.
• If you are convinced that your leaders are wrong, try to convince them with the Scriptures and solid reasoning (never with emotional intimidation).
• If you cannot convince the leadership toward a biblical change in direction, then determine if this is a significant enough issue to involve others. Does it involve essential biblical truth? Will it require you to go against your Christian conscience? If not, the matter may involve a minor area and your responsibility should be to live harmoniously with your leadership’s decision. For example, if it involves teaching that denies the historicity of the first eleven chapters of Genesis, which strikes at the inerrancy and authority of Scripture, then you must oppose that decision in as respectful a manner as possible, taking the issue all the way to the entire church, if necessary. But if it involves a decision such as going to two services instead of one, or changing the time of the weekly prayer meeting or Bible study, you would be wrong to make this matter a major issue and thereby upset the tranquility of the church over it.
• Lead others to pray for and respect your church leadership – not as you “share some concern” related to them – but from a spirit of honoring the Word’s instruction in Hebrews 13:7, 8, 17, 18.
• If a woman is married, she should either ask her husband to approach the leadership, or the two of them should go together.
• If a woman is single, she should ask her spiritual head (father, another elder) to approach the leader – if it is an issue that involves the entire leadership (thereby excluding their assistance) she should involve another man in her approach.
• Finally, thank God that He has established leadership so that your church does not experience anarchy when there are important decisions that must be made.