By virtue of the authority vested in me as the Pope of Possum Hollow, I hereby excommunicate Jim Lincoln. Furthermore, his next five birthdays are canceled, and his license to sit in the basement and eat Cheetos is revoked.
Watcher, I have no use for John MacArthurâs theology, and I donât care much for the man himself. Nevertheless, you are wrong to say that his motivation for keeping his church open is to âboost his public image,â unless, of course, he said so himself or you can see inside his heart. Might want to walk that one back, eh?
Well, Jim, you know the pope is infallible, so he must be rightâjust like Joe Biden in the mainstream media. If Pope A says that homosexuality is a terrible sin, and Pope B says that homosexuality isnât all that bad, and then Pope C says thereâs nothing wrong with it, then all three of them are correct, because theyâre all popes. Now regular Joes (or Jims) like us would say itâs impossible for all three to be right, because they contradict each other, but when His Popiness plays the infallibility card, we just have to fold, because that trumps every other hand including history, logic, and even scripture. When we ask silly questions like âHow is it possible for all three to be right,?â the answer is âBecause weâre popes, and youâre notânanny nanny boo boo!âand if you say one more word weâll demonstrate our apostolic virtue and brotherly love by having you tortured and murdered.â
Sure refreshing to see your new stance on involvement in politics, Jim. Of course this means youâll no longer advocate universal healthcare, and youâre going to stop campaigning for Joe Biden, right? Oh, you mean WE shouldnât be involved in politics. Right.
There is no evangelical argument for Biden, period. There is no Catholic argument for Biden. There is no Christian argument for Biden. There is no moral argument for Biden. There is no American argument for Biden. There is no logical argument for Biden. There is no intelligent argument for Biden. There is no worthwhile argument for Biden whatsoever. There is only a satanic argument for Biden.
One day, Jim, we will not be reading âRemoved by Moderator Alpha.â Instead, it will be âRemoved by Alpha and Omega.â Then where will you be? âExcept ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.â Will you turn, or will you burn?
âIf the iron be blunt, and he do not whet the edge, then must he put to more strength: but wisdom is profitable to direct.â (Ecclesiastes 10:10) Why chop with a dull axe when the old reliable KJB has kept its razor-sharp edge for more than four centuries? When Iâm slicing serpents, I want a sword, not a spoon.